2013 CMA Awards Recap

It was that time of year again. The time when mainstream country fans get all excited to see their favorite stars on tv, and the time independent country fans make the gut wrenching decision on whether or not they want to watch and see just how far gone the music they love has gotten. This year, contrary to my expectation before the show, was actually not quite as bad as one might expect. It had its moments, but overall it seemed to be a step in the right direction. Let's do a run through shall we?


The Bad:

The first song.
 -The night kicked off with Luke Bryan and Florida Georgia Line singing a mash-up of "That's My Kinda Night" and "Cruise." Filled with plenty of trucks, hot girls, and rapping, both songs probably earned a spot in the 'top 5 worst country songs that ever existed' list, what a great way to start "Country Music's Biggest Night." The sound quality for the performance was awful, it was almost as bad as the amount of skinny jean wearers and pelvic thrusts that happened on that stage. Within two minutes of the show's beginning, the traditionalists watching would be screaming into a pillow waiting for it to end while jabbing forks into their eardrums and eyeball sockets. The good news is that was the worse part of the night.

Bro-hug 
-Hosts Brad Paisley and Carrie Underwood's monologue was actually quite funny this year. They started with a song about all the recent feuds going on in country music. Of course they mentioned the recent fight between Zac Brown and Luke Bryan. Zac called Luke's new song "The worse song he ever heard" many people agreed with Zac and his opinions on the state of country music, but, both he and Luke bro-hugged it out to show they are still buds. Rays of sunshine darted through the dark storm clouds and the country music land remains feel good, happy and perfect.

Florida Georgia Line win "Single Of The Year" and "Duo Of The Year"
- Fueled by frat boys and Walmart moonshine, it seems like these ultra douchenuggets can not be stopped. However, since "Cruise" is the "most successful country song ever," this was not a surprise.

Kacey Musgraves' "Follow Your Arrow" gets bleeped
-Luke Bryan can say he has "real good feel good stuff" in the back of his truck. Blake Shelton can say "Make-up sex" in "Mine Would Be You," but Kacey can't say "joint?" Puuuuhlease!

Eric Church sings his new song "The Outsiders"
-I don't care how "country" a song is as long as it's good. Rock and country are usually a great combination if it's done well. This song is just a mess. I usually like Eric, and I still do think he is one of the most unique, most promising males in mainstream country music, but this song just doesn't do it for me. It seems like he is trying way too hard to be be a rebel.

Taylor Swift wins Pinnacle Award
-This somewhat new award is given to a singer who has had more success than anyone else in country music and who is currently at the top of the mountain and can not get any more popular. The only other person who won this was Garth Brooks in 2005. Many will say that Garth is the reason country music turned into something other than the music. His stage antics and mainstream appeal led him to receive the amount of popularity he had. Unlike Taylor Swift, his music was still country for his time though. Taylor is a pop singer, no questions asked. Does she really deserve such a huge honor in country music? It's very unlikely any real deserving artist will ever win this award.

P. Diddy was a presenter
-I don't know what was worse, him being there, or me not being slightly surprised.

Kelly Clarkson was nominated for "Best Female Vocalist"
- That just goes to show how few women there are in mainstream country. There are a lot of women out there that actually make country music that deserve it. Why couldn't that nomination have gone to someone like Ashley Monroe or Kellie Pickler?

Blake Shelton wins "Album Of The Year"
-Blake's "people" sent every radio station voter a vinyl copy of his latest album Based On A True Story. The record had a smartphone scan code so you can scan it and a virtual arm would pretend to play the record so you can listen to a vinyl record from your phone. They knew the voters would be intrigued by the new product so they would have to listen to the album. When it came voting time they would remember that Blake sent them a cool vinyl and vote for him. It's been done a lot before, but how sad is it that you need gimmicks to win an award. If you were looking at album substance, concept, originality, or just good music it would be near impossible to say Blake should have won. Based On A True Story definitely is not based on a true story. He didn't write any songs and almost every single song is super pop with cliche country buzzwords. It is his worst album in my opinion. Kacey Musgraves' Same Trailer Different Park should have brought this one home.

Some singers got to sing multiple songs
-There definitely is not a shortage of good country music out there. Why did Carrie Underwood get to sing a long medley? Why did Luke Bryan and Florida Georgia Line each get to sing twice when Willie Nelson, Merle Haggard, Hank Jr. and Loretta Lynn are all here. Maybe next time bring one of them in to country up the place a little bit. Or you can use the opportunity to promote some good lesser known artists who are making good music. Really though.

The Good:

Kacey Musgraves
- Just in general, other than the bleeping out, her performance of "Follow Your Arrow" was great, we need more songs like that. The big shocker was when she beat out Florida Georgia Line for "best new artist." It was great to see her nominated 6 times, that was as many times as Taylor Swift. Even though she got snubbed in the other categories it was great to see her win one, I'll keep singing her praises because she deserves it!

Chris Stapleton sings with Luke Bryan
"Drink A Beer" shows that Luke Bryan is in fact capable of making good music. The song was written by Chris Stapleton who was also there to play guitar and sing with him in his performance. Chris has been writing songs for a long time. He was in bluegrass band The SteelDrivers for a couple years but is now signed to a major record label and has a great first single "What Are You Listening To" that is being virtually ignored by mainstream radio. This was great exposure for him.

Vince Gill & Alison Krauss sing "Red" with Taylor Swift
-I'm sure the motive behind this was to prove that Taylor still has some country credibility now that she went total pop. That fact and her horrible vocals aside, this performance was pretty cool. Vince and Alison got to sing a verse alongside mandolin god Sam Bush and other bluegrass players. If there was no Taylor this would've been even more great.

Dave Grohl and Zac Brown collaborate

-Drummer for Nirvana and the founder of The Foo Fighters, Dave Grohl proved my hatred for cross genre collaborations on the CMAs wrong. This wasn't a Ludacris and Jason Aldean type thing. Zac Brown Band debuted a new song while playing with the rock legend. Southern rock at its best. 

Kenny Rogers gets the "Willie Nelson Lifetime Achievement Award"
-Kenny Rogers sat on stage while others sang him his songs. Jennifer Nettles, Rascal Flatts, and Darius Rucker all sang his monumental hits until he joined in for "Islands In The Stream," as did the rest of the audience. The tribute really did a great job showing songs that were milestones in his life.

Country music hall of fame inductees get honored
-Kenny Rogers, Cowboy Jack Clement, and Bobby Bare all recently got inducted into the country music hall of fame. Bobby Bare made a surprising appearance at the CMA's. He probably regretted coming a few minutes in, but hey it was cool. He was a quieter, lesser known outlaw and he deserves to be in the hall of fame. Cowboy Jack Clement passed away in August but he still got recognition. It made me happy to see that.

George Strait wins "Entertainer Of The Year"
-A 60 year old guy beating a bunch of the skinny jean boys was unlikely but George Strait took this one home. This was unquestionably the biggest shock of the night. George is about to start the next leg of his farewell tour. Since it's his last year to be nominated everyone must have agreed to send the country king off right by giving him one of country music's biggest honors. Seeing him up there was one of the greatest moments of the night.

George Strait & Alan Jackson perform a tribute to George Jones
-The best moment of the whole show was during this moving tribute to pay respect to George Jones. I was expecting a medley but a solid cover of "He Stopped Loving Her Today" by the last two pioneers in mainstream country was good enough for me. George Jones was always outspoken about the state of country music up until the day he died. He always said how it lacks heart and it just isn't country music anymore. Seeing George and Alan singing the song that defined who he was with his wife standing in the audience and the crowd singing along, it just seemed right. I think somewhere there is hope. Seeing people react so greatly made me believe that. Just two guys up on stage singing a good country song, nothing fancy just guitars and soul. Why can't it just be like that. George would have wanted it that way. I think we owe it to him.

CMA Fest: The Good And The Bad

Tonight was the annual "Country's Night To Rock" on ABC which is just footage from the CMA Fest in June. It always lives by its name too. When they say "Night To Rock" they literally mean let's try to find all the washed up rock stars we can in order to make this as "uncountry" as possible. Besides a few exceptions that was exactly what it was. Instead of giving country music a night to make country music on national television they have to make it a rock star extravaganza, to appeal to the masses probably.  In case you missed it or more likely chose not to watch here's the rundown. Oh and if any mainstream rock singers want a night to "country" let me know because I would totally be interested in watching that.


The Bad:

- Carrie Underwood opened with A Guns N Roses song
Yes, that really happened.




- "Cruise" 
was performed

- The reigning "Entertainer Of The Year" sang a rap song
It saddens me what Blake Shelton has turned into. He claims he's a huge "Traditional Country fan" yet he has no problem with ruining the genre he says he loves.

- "1994" 
was still relevant when this was shot.

- Taylor Swift sang 3 songs
Everyone claims she's "not country anymore" but "Red" sounds as "uncountry" as everything else out there.
She sang her first hit "Tim Mcgraw" to try to prove the fact that she used to be country back in the day. I mean of course she "used to be country" she name dropped Tim Mcgraw, a huge classic country singer.
Then she sang "Highway Don't Care" with you guessed it, Tim Mcgraw. Hashtag snoozefest.
Oh yeah why does she get 3 songs again?

- Lenny Kravitz 
 was there.
(They didn't show the part at the end of this clip where he flipped off the audience for not knowing his songs though. Darn)




- Kid Rock
was also there.

- Lady Antebellum
sang "Downtown." I'm guessing it was bad. I missed most of the performance because I had to explain to my Dad that this was shot 2 months ago and Hillary Scott was not "repregnant."

- Kelly Clarkson sang her new song
Apparently she thinks she's a country singer now.  

- Sheryl Crow
also thinks she's a country singer now.
She sang "Soak Up The Sun" her old pop/rock song and "Easy" her new "country" song. There was no difference in the sound, and that's a problem. Don't give me the country music is evolving crap because it isn't. It's 90's pop.

- Luke Bryan
sang twice

- Jake Owen continues to sing barefoot
He is just waiting for Kenny Chesney to retire so he can be the new king of "beach country music."

- "Pontoon" came back
That was so last year people. *Shakes head in disgust*


The Good:

-Miranda Lambert 
Was her good usual badass self.

-Kacey Musgraves
delivers the best performance of the night with "Blowin Smoke." I like that song a lot but if she releases "Silver Lining" "It Is What It Is" or "Follow Your Arrow" especially, I think she would finally get the recognition she deserves.



- Eric Church stays true to who he is
Even if who he is is an asshole.

- Little Big Town's "Your Side Of The Bed"
was good but was later ruined by the singing of "Pontoon."

- I saw a couple banjos
that's always good

- There were no actual rappers there
which was also very good, and a little surprising.

- Since this was shot before the release date, Luke Bryan didn't sing his new single "That's My Kinda Night" 
I think that was the best part of all.

"Cruise" Is The Most Successful "Country" Song Ever

Congratulations everybody! You are living through a moment of country music history right now. "Cruise" by Florida Georgia Line is officially the most successful country song to ever grace our presence. It spent a total of 22 weeks at #1 on Billboard's Hot 100 Country songs. It beat out "In the Jailhouse Now " by Webb Pierce in 1955, "I'm Movin' On," by Hank Snow in 1950-1951, and "I'll Hold You in My Heart (Till I Can Hold You in My Arms)," by Eddy Arnold in 1947-1948. All three spent a total of 21 weeks at #1. If it wasn't for country rap crossovers and the crappy new Billboard rules all three of those guys wouldn't be rolling around repeatedly in their graves right now.

"Cruise" spent only 5 weeks at number one last year. It was so close to falling off the charts too! When you thought this song literally couldn't possibly get any worse, the ever so lovely rap version of this comes out featuring Nelly and suddenly it hits number one all over again. Now is that fair? With the new Billboard rules, song plays from internet streaming websites like Spotify, Pandora, etc. all count in the Billboard ranking. The only thing that does is boost the success of songs that have crossover appeal. How would an actual country song that only appeals to country fans beat out a song that appeals to country, pop, and rap? Do the crossover artists really need ways to be more successful? The thing is that the only reason this song has been number one for so long is because of the mainstream rap/pop version. Yet by Billboard's standards that's the reason a 58 year record for the most successful country song was broken. The most successful country song is the most successful country song because people know it as a pop rap song. Makes sense don't it?

All in all it really doesn't matter I guess. Billboard is not a correct assumption on which songs are better than others. It's only based on technical facts and God knows if we decided the best songs today based on radio play and downloads we'd end up with something sucky. I'm not turning this into another there's so much good music out there it's not fair they don't get recognition rant. Well, that is true, but this is more of a I'm concerned about country music's legacy type of thing. What if it takes another 58 years to break Florida Georgia Line's record. Picture this, it's the year 2071 and your great grandchildren start to listen to country music. (This is assuming country music is still around and music hasn't morphed into one giant pop genre) They go on the internet (or ask their robots) what the top country songs ever are, then they stumble upon Billboard. Then there at number one still is "Cruise." That probably won't be the case, more crossover songs will be up in there too I'm sure. These kids of the future will be talking about how they listen to "classic country", which will be our generations music! Today you can say you like the Honky Tonk Era of the 50's, or the Outlaw Era of the 70's. Doesn't it disgust you that in 50 years someone can say they like the Hick-Hop Era of the 2010's! 

I guess you could say the same for other types of music too, Hip hop especially. There are so many underground rappers and fans trying to bring back some sanity back into the genre they love, it's the same thing as what's happening in country. It's either someone starts paying attention to the roots artists or music in general is heading for a downfall. The terms "Country" and "Rap" are unlikely to be saved anytime soon.  It really is a shame you can't proudly say what kind of music you like without having to explain you don't mean the stuff you hear on the radio. I don't know enough about other genres to talk about their histories or futures, but I do know country. I know within the past 2 decades or so the legacy of country music is falling apart. It wasn't as bad in the 90's and early 2000's as it is today. When I say country isn't country anymore that's not my opinion, it's a fact. There's certain elements you need in order to produce a country song. Mainstream just doesn't have it, or if they do it's minimal. People like Florida Georgia Line aren't evolving country music, they're devolving it. 

Rant Review: "Two Step" by Laura Bell Bundy ft. Colt Ford

From the people who brought you "Truck Yeah" and "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together" here is their latest masterpiece. I think in order to move forward you have to accept how far back you really are. How are people going to think of country as anything other than a joke when they see stuff like this on TV? Laura Bell Bundy recently switched to Big Machine records. Big Machine is home to Taylor Swift, Tim McGraw, and Rascal Flatts. Branches of Big Machine Records like Valory Music and Republic Nashville are in charge of wannabe outlaws Justin Moore and Brantley Gilbert, as well as the ultimate douchenuggets Florida Georgia Line. Needless to say Big Machine is a death trap. They market image so much that any ounce of originality you have is stripped down until you are just a tiny puppet who does exactly what they tell you to.

 Laura Bell Bundy only had one other song that did somewhat decent. It was "Giddy On Up" back in 2010. This song is literally its ugly cousin. By looking at this picture from the video I'm sure you can tell you got a honky tonkin', air-humpin', fist-bumpin' good time going on. Her broadway background is dominant in all of her music videos. They look like they are a cross between dance instruction videos and bad plays in a church basement, but videos aside, it's the music that really bothers me. "Giddy On Up" isn't a song I would ever choose to listen to, but I wouldn't write a full length rant about it either. In addition to fiddles and banjos being played throughout the song, it actually has a direction, unlike "Two Step." It's about a woman confronting her cheating "cowboy" husband. The song and video actually do have many themes that try to be country. Fast forward three years and boy what a difference. Unlike "Giddy On Up," "Two Step" barely even tries to be country song except for faint country instruments in the background. Lyrically the song is near pointless, just a bad attempt to get mainstream attention. The beginning sounds like a typical women empowerment song. "I'm gonna wear what I want to cause I want to I don't need no man. I'm gonna drink what I want to cause I want to just because I can. Gonna spend my money cause it's mine, down on SoCo and lime. Cause it's girls' night out." The video of course starts off with a bunch of Rosie the Riveter type girls working in a factory like they just stepped out of World War II. They are so done with their jobs so they pull out their flasks, start drinking, and get all glamed up to go down dancing at some trashy Redneck Hip Hop club apparently. The chorus is just ridiculous "I'm gonna do my two step, do my, do my two step tonight. I'm doing my two step, watch where you step put you two steps behind. Hard to get but you want me ride that donkey straight to the back of the line. Gonna do my two step, do my, do my two step." Then she goes in to explain how to do this so called "Two Step" dance she sings about. "Slide, slide slide, two steps." "Grind, grind, grind, switch" Really? Do I really want to know how to do a dance when I hear a song on the radio. She left broadway behind to pursue a career in country music. If she really wanted to do that she should stop making all of her songs into little musicals. Knowing Big Machine they will market the hell out of this like they do everything else. I don't think people are going to get up and start dancing in their car or while they are sitting watching the video on their couch. The main outlet for this would be for people wanting fun dance songs for their "Country Themed" party or bar. This song goes to radio August 5th. The question is will the general population of mainstream country fans care about some trashy dance song enough to want to hear it on the radio? Knowing some stuff I hear I wouldn't be surprised if they did, but that's not even the worst part. 

Country rap! I hate seeing those two words together more so then any other two words in the world. Colt Ford is perhaps to blame for the mainstream success of country rap. He wrote "Dirt Road Anthem" a few years ago which was covered by Jason Aldean. Since that song in 2010 rap made it's way through the crevices of mainstream country music. Too many male country artists feel like they need to produce some sort of rap in their songs these days. It's never meaningful rap either. I don't like regular rap music at all but I could at least respect it if it has some sort of meaning. Like mainstream rap rapping about naked ladies and money, all mainstream country rap just talks about back roads, trucks, beer, and all that other stuff you need to "be country." Country rap has gotten so bad it probably actually removes brain cells as you listen. The only other thing that these new "rappers" rap about is hot girls. Which leads me into Colt Ford's little cameo in "Two Step."

Woaaah! No woman has ever showed me one of these before!

Laura Bell sings "I'm gonna rock my cowboy hat and pink stilettos. We're gonna stomp and kick until they make us all go home. You wanna see if a little country girl can get down, let me show you how." Then she is magically transported into ghettoville with spray painted walls, sideways flat bill hats, and booty shorts. This is all still country though of course because Colt Ford is wearing a cowboy hat. He raps "Hey little lady maybe you and me could possibly get together for a shot of Jack D and take a little spinner by the dance floor, tell me do you want more? All you gotta do is just say so. I can line dance, baby I can buck dance. Take you down a dirt road, back of a truck dance." (umm no thanks) Of course even though it's a hitting up a woman at a bar song they still have to mention a truck and a dirt road somehow. So much for this being a "I'm a strong woman and I don't need no man" song.

Really country music? Really! Have you really stooped down this low. Besides the fact that I personally don't want to see a bunch of half naked women on my TV, I don't think it's appropriate for the new younger country fanbase. Compared to mainstream pop, mainstream country used to be fairly innocent. Mama's would be okay with their kids watching country music videos because there wasn't any nudity or other "naughty things" frequently found in mainstream rap or pop. Today there are no filters for what they show on TV. Things like this are just "The Norm" for country today. Now don't get me wrong I don't mind bad language or themes in a song if the purpose is to accurately convey the emotion the writer was feeling. I feel like some people dumb down their music because they are worried other people will be offended. I'd prefer artists to write what they really feel and not care about radio play. Mainstream music has a problem with people saying "bad words," but they have no problem showing half naked ladies in their videos, makes sense right? It all is such cheap marketing that has nothing to do with the music. Am I gonna watch this? No! Will a teenage boy sit and watch this whole video? Oh yeah! Songs like these just really get me angry. Country used to be a more mature respected genre. Now since so many other influences from other genres are muddled into country, there is no way to tell what country is anymore.

Rating: D-

(only D- because unfortunately somehow there are worse things.)

What Happened To Country Music?

Well, I made this blog for many reasons. My main goal is to help promote real country music made by genuine country artists. Nashville got so off the beaten path that Country music's future doesn't look too bright. Right now I'm listening to the "Today's Country" station on Pandora radio to help fuel my anger with modern country music. (I told myself I would change it when I finish writing this and Florida Georgia Line just came on, so I'm gonna hurry.) Well I will begin with the fact that Blake Shelton stirred up controversy earlier this year by saying "Nobody wants to listen to their grandpa’s music. And I don’t care how many of these old farts around Nashville going, “My God, that ain’t country!” Well that’s because you don’t buy records anymore, jackass. The kids do, and they don’t want to buy the music you were buying." What he said was true for the stereotypes:  older people like older music, kids like modern music, but they aren't always true. I know of some older people who like mainstream radio. Then there are kids and teenagers who like "their grandpa's music." I'm one of them.

 It used to be cool to meet people at school who listened to country music no matter what kind because it was so rare. These days it seems like most people love country music. No wait I mean most people love "country" music. Most "country" fans these days don't know the difference. If I went up to any of these country fans at my school and asked them what their favorite Roy Acuff song was, well let's face it, they'd look at me funny. I was in my school's bathroom stall on the verge of tears when I found out on Twitter that George Jones died. I walked out to a world where girls have conversations about what they are wearing to the Luke Bryan concert in a couple of weeks. They  talk about how cute their new high heeled cowgirl boots they bought from Target will look with their tied up plaid and short shorts. (They have to look extra country because they were seeing a huge country superstar who sings super awesome country songs!) Then their boyfriends are gonna pick them up ( in their pickup trucks of course) and bring them to the concert. People like them had no idea. They had no clue that the music they claim to love just lost one of the greatest voices it had ever seen. I mean why would they care, it's just some old guy, right? Are those the "kids" you want to sell your music to Blake, really? I'm glad everyone worries about kids like them instead of kids like me.

 I guess I always just thought Country was different. I thought you had to respect those that came before you because they paved the way for today's generation. Today who cares about that, it's all about money and fame. They just ripped the roots right out of the ground. No one is lonesome, no one has regrets, no one has heartbreaks, because sad country music? That's crazy! It's all partying and drinking and having a good time out in the field behind your Grandpa's house with a couple of your buds and some hot girls in cutoff jeans sitting on the tailgate of your truck drinking some store bought moonshine in the moonlight, duh. I guess I'm an old fart for saying this but "that ain't country!" There are many people out there who are trying to preserve the greatness that country used to be. Even though it has to evolve with the times, I guess, I think this "evolution" has gone way to far. I guess right now country music is just a dying plant that got ripped out of the ground. It's so shriveled up it's hard to tell what kind of plant it is anymore, but you know what? I think there is still hope somewhere for country music. Its future relies on Underground Country, Texas/Red Dirt, Americana, Bluegrass, and all these little sub-genres of country music. Today the artists in those sub-genres make real Country music. Country music that is way "too country" for mainstream Pop-Country music. I don't think it's fair that any teenage kid making Pop music could add a faint banjo sound in the background and boom it's good country music. I also don't think it's fair that any old Rock or Pop star who wants to be relevant again can just "go country." If they are infusing Rap, R&B beats, and Pop and Rock elements, they should give real country a chance too. I mean Texas has it's own music and it's a lot more country, and people still like it! I think if they gave the lesser known artists a chance the public could start to actually enjoy real country again. I just think everyone deserves a fair shot. Of course that couldn't happen until a change is made. People are gonna get bored of the cliche "countryism" songs eventually. If enough attention is given to the roots artists then who's to say they can't be the next big "thing" in country music. I'm a teenager and I love their music. If other young people get on board it would make us "old farts" proud to call ourselves country fans again. I think these roots artists can take the seeds from the old plant and replant them and start again. They could make it grow again, and grow into something amazing. Who knows maybe some sort of modern day outlaw-esque movement could happen today like it did in the 70's. If there are enough people out there who put the music above everything else, it could be possible. In the meantime I'm gonna do my best to help promote real country music, because I do believe there is hope left and that's why I made this blog.