2013 CMA Awards Recap

It was that time of year again. The time when mainstream country fans get all excited to see their favorite stars on tv, and the time independent country fans make the gut wrenching decision on whether or not they want to watch and see just how far gone the music they love has gotten. This year, contrary to my expectation before the show, was actually not quite as bad as one might expect. It had its moments, but overall it seemed to be a step in the right direction. Let's do a run through shall we?


The Bad:

The first song.
 -The night kicked off with Luke Bryan and Florida Georgia Line singing a mash-up of "That's My Kinda Night" and "Cruise." Filled with plenty of trucks, hot girls, and rapping, both songs probably earned a spot in the 'top 5 worst country songs that ever existed' list, what a great way to start "Country Music's Biggest Night." The sound quality for the performance was awful, it was almost as bad as the amount of skinny jean wearers and pelvic thrusts that happened on that stage. Within two minutes of the show's beginning, the traditionalists watching would be screaming into a pillow waiting for it to end while jabbing forks into their eardrums and eyeball sockets. The good news is that was the worse part of the night.

Bro-hug 
-Hosts Brad Paisley and Carrie Underwood's monologue was actually quite funny this year. They started with a song about all the recent feuds going on in country music. Of course they mentioned the recent fight between Zac Brown and Luke Bryan. Zac called Luke's new song "The worse song he ever heard" many people agreed with Zac and his opinions on the state of country music, but, both he and Luke bro-hugged it out to show they are still buds. Rays of sunshine darted through the dark storm clouds and the country music land remains feel good, happy and perfect.

Florida Georgia Line win "Single Of The Year" and "Duo Of The Year"
- Fueled by frat boys and Walmart moonshine, it seems like these ultra douchenuggets can not be stopped. However, since "Cruise" is the "most successful country song ever," this was not a surprise.

Kacey Musgraves' "Follow Your Arrow" gets bleeped
-Luke Bryan can say he has "real good feel good stuff" in the back of his truck. Blake Shelton can say "Make-up sex" in "Mine Would Be You," but Kacey can't say "joint?" Puuuuhlease!

Eric Church sings his new song "The Outsiders"
-I don't care how "country" a song is as long as it's good. Rock and country are usually a great combination if it's done well. This song is just a mess. I usually like Eric, and I still do think he is one of the most unique, most promising males in mainstream country music, but this song just doesn't do it for me. It seems like he is trying way too hard to be be a rebel.

Taylor Swift wins Pinnacle Award
-This somewhat new award is given to a singer who has had more success than anyone else in country music and who is currently at the top of the mountain and can not get any more popular. The only other person who won this was Garth Brooks in 2005. Many will say that Garth is the reason country music turned into something other than the music. His stage antics and mainstream appeal led him to receive the amount of popularity he had. Unlike Taylor Swift, his music was still country for his time though. Taylor is a pop singer, no questions asked. Does she really deserve such a huge honor in country music? It's very unlikely any real deserving artist will ever win this award.

P. Diddy was a presenter
-I don't know what was worse, him being there, or me not being slightly surprised.

Kelly Clarkson was nominated for "Best Female Vocalist"
- That just goes to show how few women there are in mainstream country. There are a lot of women out there that actually make country music that deserve it. Why couldn't that nomination have gone to someone like Ashley Monroe or Kellie Pickler?

Blake Shelton wins "Album Of The Year"
-Blake's "people" sent every radio station voter a vinyl copy of his latest album Based On A True Story. The record had a smartphone scan code so you can scan it and a virtual arm would pretend to play the record so you can listen to a vinyl record from your phone. They knew the voters would be intrigued by the new product so they would have to listen to the album. When it came voting time they would remember that Blake sent them a cool vinyl and vote for him. It's been done a lot before, but how sad is it that you need gimmicks to win an award. If you were looking at album substance, concept, originality, or just good music it would be near impossible to say Blake should have won. Based On A True Story definitely is not based on a true story. He didn't write any songs and almost every single song is super pop with cliche country buzzwords. It is his worst album in my opinion. Kacey Musgraves' Same Trailer Different Park should have brought this one home.

Some singers got to sing multiple songs
-There definitely is not a shortage of good country music out there. Why did Carrie Underwood get to sing a long medley? Why did Luke Bryan and Florida Georgia Line each get to sing twice when Willie Nelson, Merle Haggard, Hank Jr. and Loretta Lynn are all here. Maybe next time bring one of them in to country up the place a little bit. Or you can use the opportunity to promote some good lesser known artists who are making good music. Really though.

The Good:

Kacey Musgraves
- Just in general, other than the bleeping out, her performance of "Follow Your Arrow" was great, we need more songs like that. The big shocker was when she beat out Florida Georgia Line for "best new artist." It was great to see her nominated 6 times, that was as many times as Taylor Swift. Even though she got snubbed in the other categories it was great to see her win one, I'll keep singing her praises because she deserves it!

Chris Stapleton sings with Luke Bryan
"Drink A Beer" shows that Luke Bryan is in fact capable of making good music. The song was written by Chris Stapleton who was also there to play guitar and sing with him in his performance. Chris has been writing songs for a long time. He was in bluegrass band The SteelDrivers for a couple years but is now signed to a major record label and has a great first single "What Are You Listening To" that is being virtually ignored by mainstream radio. This was great exposure for him.

Vince Gill & Alison Krauss sing "Red" with Taylor Swift
-I'm sure the motive behind this was to prove that Taylor still has some country credibility now that she went total pop. That fact and her horrible vocals aside, this performance was pretty cool. Vince and Alison got to sing a verse alongside mandolin god Sam Bush and other bluegrass players. If there was no Taylor this would've been even more great.

Dave Grohl and Zac Brown collaborate

-Drummer for Nirvana and the founder of The Foo Fighters, Dave Grohl proved my hatred for cross genre collaborations on the CMAs wrong. This wasn't a Ludacris and Jason Aldean type thing. Zac Brown Band debuted a new song while playing with the rock legend. Southern rock at its best. 

Kenny Rogers gets the "Willie Nelson Lifetime Achievement Award"
-Kenny Rogers sat on stage while others sang him his songs. Jennifer Nettles, Rascal Flatts, and Darius Rucker all sang his monumental hits until he joined in for "Islands In The Stream," as did the rest of the audience. The tribute really did a great job showing songs that were milestones in his life.

Country music hall of fame inductees get honored
-Kenny Rogers, Cowboy Jack Clement, and Bobby Bare all recently got inducted into the country music hall of fame. Bobby Bare made a surprising appearance at the CMA's. He probably regretted coming a few minutes in, but hey it was cool. He was a quieter, lesser known outlaw and he deserves to be in the hall of fame. Cowboy Jack Clement passed away in August but he still got recognition. It made me happy to see that.

George Strait wins "Entertainer Of The Year"
-A 60 year old guy beating a bunch of the skinny jean boys was unlikely but George Strait took this one home. This was unquestionably the biggest shock of the night. George is about to start the next leg of his farewell tour. Since it's his last year to be nominated everyone must have agreed to send the country king off right by giving him one of country music's biggest honors. Seeing him up there was one of the greatest moments of the night.

George Strait & Alan Jackson perform a tribute to George Jones
-The best moment of the whole show was during this moving tribute to pay respect to George Jones. I was expecting a medley but a solid cover of "He Stopped Loving Her Today" by the last two pioneers in mainstream country was good enough for me. George Jones was always outspoken about the state of country music up until the day he died. He always said how it lacks heart and it just isn't country music anymore. Seeing George and Alan singing the song that defined who he was with his wife standing in the audience and the crowd singing along, it just seemed right. I think somewhere there is hope. Seeing people react so greatly made me believe that. Just two guys up on stage singing a good country song, nothing fancy just guitars and soul. Why can't it just be like that. George would have wanted it that way. I think we owe it to him.

CMA Fest: The Good And The Bad

Tonight was the annual "Country's Night To Rock" on ABC which is just footage from the CMA Fest in June. It always lives by its name too. When they say "Night To Rock" they literally mean let's try to find all the washed up rock stars we can in order to make this as "uncountry" as possible. Besides a few exceptions that was exactly what it was. Instead of giving country music a night to make country music on national television they have to make it a rock star extravaganza, to appeal to the masses probably.  In case you missed it or more likely chose not to watch here's the rundown. Oh and if any mainstream rock singers want a night to "country" let me know because I would totally be interested in watching that.


The Bad:

- Carrie Underwood opened with A Guns N Roses song
Yes, that really happened.




- "Cruise" 
was performed

- The reigning "Entertainer Of The Year" sang a rap song
It saddens me what Blake Shelton has turned into. He claims he's a huge "Traditional Country fan" yet he has no problem with ruining the genre he says he loves.

- "1994" 
was still relevant when this was shot.

- Taylor Swift sang 3 songs
Everyone claims she's "not country anymore" but "Red" sounds as "uncountry" as everything else out there.
She sang her first hit "Tim Mcgraw" to try to prove the fact that she used to be country back in the day. I mean of course she "used to be country" she name dropped Tim Mcgraw, a huge classic country singer.
Then she sang "Highway Don't Care" with you guessed it, Tim Mcgraw. Hashtag snoozefest.
Oh yeah why does she get 3 songs again?

- Lenny Kravitz 
 was there.
(They didn't show the part at the end of this clip where he flipped off the audience for not knowing his songs though. Darn)




- Kid Rock
was also there.

- Lady Antebellum
sang "Downtown." I'm guessing it was bad. I missed most of the performance because I had to explain to my Dad that this was shot 2 months ago and Hillary Scott was not "repregnant."

- Kelly Clarkson sang her new song
Apparently she thinks she's a country singer now.  

- Sheryl Crow
also thinks she's a country singer now.
She sang "Soak Up The Sun" her old pop/rock song and "Easy" her new "country" song. There was no difference in the sound, and that's a problem. Don't give me the country music is evolving crap because it isn't. It's 90's pop.

- Luke Bryan
sang twice

- Jake Owen continues to sing barefoot
He is just waiting for Kenny Chesney to retire so he can be the new king of "beach country music."

- "Pontoon" came back
That was so last year people. *Shakes head in disgust*


The Good:

-Miranda Lambert 
Was her good usual badass self.

-Kacey Musgraves
delivers the best performance of the night with "Blowin Smoke." I like that song a lot but if she releases "Silver Lining" "It Is What It Is" or "Follow Your Arrow" especially, I think she would finally get the recognition she deserves.



- Eric Church stays true to who he is
Even if who he is is an asshole.

- Little Big Town's "Your Side Of The Bed"
was good but was later ruined by the singing of "Pontoon."

- I saw a couple banjos
that's always good

- There were no actual rappers there
which was also very good, and a little surprising.

- Since this was shot before the release date, Luke Bryan didn't sing his new single "That's My Kinda Night" 
I think that was the best part of all.

Why Is Cassadee Pope In Country Music?

Reality singing competitions almost always lead to trouble.The winners of shows like The Voice and American Idol rarely are successful afterwards. That's why once they are signed to a record label it's the label's job to rush out a single for the winner while they are still relevant. If they wait too long they will be upstaged by next season's big winner and nobody will care about them anymore. With two seasons per year The Voice is realizing this now.


Cassadee Pope was the winner of  the third season of The Voice which ended in December. Her single "Wasting All These Tears" was released last month. Danielle Bradbery won the fourth season which ended in March and her single "The Heart Of Dixie" was released a few weeks ago. It seems already that the general public is paying more attention to Danielle now since Cassadee is old news. Both of them are members of some sort of branch of Big Machine Records. It's funny how quickly they released Danielle's new song and waited over 6 months to release Cassadee's. This wouldn't be as big of a deal if the two were in different genres.

Danielle was a 16 year old girl dressed in pretty little cowgirl boots and a sundress who auditioned with her idol Taylor Swift's smash "country" song "Mean." You knew right off the bat you were getting a bubblegum pop-country singer. She of course went to Team Blake. He made her sing some Carrie Underwood, and a little Sara Evans. Where they thought she really shined was when she sang what they actually referred to as "Classic Country." (AKA 90's Pam Tillis songs.) Whatever though, I get it. She's a typical teenage girl singing poppy country to appeal to other teenage girls who think they like country music. It makes me sick that that is what people my age buy into, but whatever I get why they put her in the country genre. What I don't understand is why Cassadee Pope is in there too.

Cassadee was the lead singer of pop-rock band Hey Monday. They were somewhat successful and are currently on hiatus so Cassadee could do her solo "country" thing. While on the show she sang songs by her idol Avril Lavigne, Maroon 5, Gavin DeGraw, and some grunge rock band. Her coach Blake Shelton suggested that she sing some country songs, she did, and it worked. The first thing that drew attention was when she sang Miranda Lambert's "Over You." It sold over 340,000 digital copies on ITunes, which is almost double what her current single has sold so far. She also covered songs by Rascal Flatts, Faith Hill and Keith Urban. It was reported that one of the lead destroyers of country music Scott Borchetta, who is the president of Big Machine records, was interested in Cassadee and they wanted her to permanently "go country." He was thrilled to find out Cassadee was on the same page because after singing all those "country" songs she felt like she really wanted to get back to her roots, the music she always loved, country music. How convenient it is today that once all these pop and rock singers careers turn to shit that's when they realize that they want to "return to their roots."

Her single "Wasting All These Tears" is mediocre at best. She has a really good voice but it isn't country at all. It sounds like a typical pop-rock song with a faint banjo in the background. Take that little banjo part out and add some other instrument it would be more than fine for pop. I think since mainstream rock is near dead she went country because it's easier than pop. That's what the country industry is today folks, a big melting pot. It's like one of those crappy dinners you have for the next few nights after Thanksgiving. Real country music is Thanksgiving, the pop stuff is the leftovers. It's similar to Thanksgiving but it just will never be as good of a meal. You have so much crap lined up in your freezer, why waste the time and money to go out and buy something new. You kind of just take all the leftovers and mash them all together hoping everyone else will deal with it. These singers singing different genres claiming it to be country are the three day old pieces of turkey. No one really wants it, but you just kinda deal with it because it's there. Everyone knows the big juicy steak at the supermarket would be a way better dinner, but no one is going to do anything about it. Some important person somewhere has to stand up. They have to tell the washed up pop stars to accept the fact that their careers are over because country isn't going to open it's doors anymore. Country is way too accepting of everything today. You can rap about trucks, whine about a high school crush, or sing about your rock-star days, because these days literally everything is considered "country" as long as you hide a faint little banjo run in your pop song. I'm telling you now there are so many good replacements out there that you don't have to settle for the leftovers anymore. Go to the store and buy that steak, you deserve it! Rant over! I'm kinda hungry...

Rant Review: "Two Step" by Laura Bell Bundy ft. Colt Ford

From the people who brought you "Truck Yeah" and "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together" here is their latest masterpiece. I think in order to move forward you have to accept how far back you really are. How are people going to think of country as anything other than a joke when they see stuff like this on TV? Laura Bell Bundy recently switched to Big Machine records. Big Machine is home to Taylor Swift, Tim McGraw, and Rascal Flatts. Branches of Big Machine Records like Valory Music and Republic Nashville are in charge of wannabe outlaws Justin Moore and Brantley Gilbert, as well as the ultimate douchenuggets Florida Georgia Line. Needless to say Big Machine is a death trap. They market image so much that any ounce of originality you have is stripped down until you are just a tiny puppet who does exactly what they tell you to.

 Laura Bell Bundy only had one other song that did somewhat decent. It was "Giddy On Up" back in 2010. This song is literally its ugly cousin. By looking at this picture from the video I'm sure you can tell you got a honky tonkin', air-humpin', fist-bumpin' good time going on. Her broadway background is dominant in all of her music videos. They look like they are a cross between dance instruction videos and bad plays in a church basement, but videos aside, it's the music that really bothers me. "Giddy On Up" isn't a song I would ever choose to listen to, but I wouldn't write a full length rant about it either. In addition to fiddles and banjos being played throughout the song, it actually has a direction, unlike "Two Step." It's about a woman confronting her cheating "cowboy" husband. The song and video actually do have many themes that try to be country. Fast forward three years and boy what a difference. Unlike "Giddy On Up," "Two Step" barely even tries to be country song except for faint country instruments in the background. Lyrically the song is near pointless, just a bad attempt to get mainstream attention. The beginning sounds like a typical women empowerment song. "I'm gonna wear what I want to cause I want to I don't need no man. I'm gonna drink what I want to cause I want to just because I can. Gonna spend my money cause it's mine, down on SoCo and lime. Cause it's girls' night out." The video of course starts off with a bunch of Rosie the Riveter type girls working in a factory like they just stepped out of World War II. They are so done with their jobs so they pull out their flasks, start drinking, and get all glamed up to go down dancing at some trashy Redneck Hip Hop club apparently. The chorus is just ridiculous "I'm gonna do my two step, do my, do my two step tonight. I'm doing my two step, watch where you step put you two steps behind. Hard to get but you want me ride that donkey straight to the back of the line. Gonna do my two step, do my, do my two step." Then she goes in to explain how to do this so called "Two Step" dance she sings about. "Slide, slide slide, two steps." "Grind, grind, grind, switch" Really? Do I really want to know how to do a dance when I hear a song on the radio. She left broadway behind to pursue a career in country music. If she really wanted to do that she should stop making all of her songs into little musicals. Knowing Big Machine they will market the hell out of this like they do everything else. I don't think people are going to get up and start dancing in their car or while they are sitting watching the video on their couch. The main outlet for this would be for people wanting fun dance songs for their "Country Themed" party or bar. This song goes to radio August 5th. The question is will the general population of mainstream country fans care about some trashy dance song enough to want to hear it on the radio? Knowing some stuff I hear I wouldn't be surprised if they did, but that's not even the worst part. 

Country rap! I hate seeing those two words together more so then any other two words in the world. Colt Ford is perhaps to blame for the mainstream success of country rap. He wrote "Dirt Road Anthem" a few years ago which was covered by Jason Aldean. Since that song in 2010 rap made it's way through the crevices of mainstream country music. Too many male country artists feel like they need to produce some sort of rap in their songs these days. It's never meaningful rap either. I don't like regular rap music at all but I could at least respect it if it has some sort of meaning. Like mainstream rap rapping about naked ladies and money, all mainstream country rap just talks about back roads, trucks, beer, and all that other stuff you need to "be country." Country rap has gotten so bad it probably actually removes brain cells as you listen. The only other thing that these new "rappers" rap about is hot girls. Which leads me into Colt Ford's little cameo in "Two Step."

Woaaah! No woman has ever showed me one of these before!

Laura Bell sings "I'm gonna rock my cowboy hat and pink stilettos. We're gonna stomp and kick until they make us all go home. You wanna see if a little country girl can get down, let me show you how." Then she is magically transported into ghettoville with spray painted walls, sideways flat bill hats, and booty shorts. This is all still country though of course because Colt Ford is wearing a cowboy hat. He raps "Hey little lady maybe you and me could possibly get together for a shot of Jack D and take a little spinner by the dance floor, tell me do you want more? All you gotta do is just say so. I can line dance, baby I can buck dance. Take you down a dirt road, back of a truck dance." (umm no thanks) Of course even though it's a hitting up a woman at a bar song they still have to mention a truck and a dirt road somehow. So much for this being a "I'm a strong woman and I don't need no man" song.

Really country music? Really! Have you really stooped down this low. Besides the fact that I personally don't want to see a bunch of half naked women on my TV, I don't think it's appropriate for the new younger country fanbase. Compared to mainstream pop, mainstream country used to be fairly innocent. Mama's would be okay with their kids watching country music videos because there wasn't any nudity or other "naughty things" frequently found in mainstream rap or pop. Today there are no filters for what they show on TV. Things like this are just "The Norm" for country today. Now don't get me wrong I don't mind bad language or themes in a song if the purpose is to accurately convey the emotion the writer was feeling. I feel like some people dumb down their music because they are worried other people will be offended. I'd prefer artists to write what they really feel and not care about radio play. Mainstream music has a problem with people saying "bad words," but they have no problem showing half naked ladies in their videos, makes sense right? It all is such cheap marketing that has nothing to do with the music. Am I gonna watch this? No! Will a teenage boy sit and watch this whole video? Oh yeah! Songs like these just really get me angry. Country used to be a more mature respected genre. Now since so many other influences from other genres are muddled into country, there is no way to tell what country is anymore.

Rating: D-

(only D- because unfortunately somehow there are worse things.)